Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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