Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
