at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
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