Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
