from now on my penis is your penis
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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