My liver just broke up with me...
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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