lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
