i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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