Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
