there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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