Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
