did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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