I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
