I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
