Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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