you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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