How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
