Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
