She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
