Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize