why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
