Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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