Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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