Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
