Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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