doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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