I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize