i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
