Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
