Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
