just come out here and I will go home with you...
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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