so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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