PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
