Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
There r osticjed everywhere
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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