I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Did you pee in the oven last night??
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
