So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
