You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
