I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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