I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
