I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
