K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
