my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
