just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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