i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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