I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
