I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
