we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
