in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
