My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize