I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
