Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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