Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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