Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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