but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
