: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
