no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
