I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Randomize
