toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
