Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize