We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
a search helicopter?!
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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