oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I need a hoe opinion
go on
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
