Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize