White coat. Heels.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
