Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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