Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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