i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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