Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
