My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
