Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We have started to decorate penises.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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