I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
