tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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