im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
